The Worst Day of his Life
by ToastWeaselofDOOM
Summary: Today just isn’t his day. It isn’t as if any other day of the year is better, but this day is just the worst. It is his birthday. Not to mention it’s April Fool’s Day. For my lovable Yonbantai dork, whom I give this to belatedly with love. Oneshot.


**The Worst Day of his Life**

**A Bleach Oneshot**

**By ToastWeaselofDOOM**

**Toast doesn't own any part of Bleach. Never have, never will.**

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Today just isn't his day.

It isn't as if any other day of the year is better, but this day is just the worst.

It is his birthday.

Not to mention it's April Fool's Day.

Not the best of days for anyone, but for him, it's probably the worst day a person could have.

Who is he?

He's Yonbantai's Nanaseki, Yamada Hanataro.

On the best of days, the worst abuse he gets are glares and pride-hurting insults, but if the Juuichibantai members are particularly mad, well . . . those days, he's lucky to be _alive_.

But he heals fast, so within a few days, he's up and working again. Running supplies, doing paperwork, and healing the injured are all in a day's work.

There's another who does this as well, only she has more power and grace and position then he ever will.

Her name is Kotetsu Isane, and Hanataro thinks she's the prettiest person in the world.

But who is he kidding?

He's the seventh seat, and she's the second!

He doesn't stand a chance.

So today, on his worst day of the year, the shinigami manages to convince himself to go to work. That today won't be any different than the three hundred and sixty-four other days in the year.

So he goes to work and—surprise, surprise—within the first hour of work, he's given a box full of scorpions. They're not poisonous. They never are . . . at least, not yet.

He suffers through a day of excessive teasing, jeering, pranks, and name-calling before completing his eight-hour shift and trudging back to the barracks.

But he doesn't get far, and his day of torture is not over yet.

Around the corner await several members of Juuichibantai, waiting to pounce on him.

He's doomed from the start.

He's beaten bloody, raising lumps all over his whole body. His lip is split, his eyes is blackened, a tooth or three are knocked out, and finally he's had enough.

He doesn't care that they're stronger than him, he doesn't care that he hates to hurt people. He just doesn't care anymore.

He draws his zanpakuto and chants the release. "Fulfill, Hisagomaru!"

There's a flash of red light and the members of Juuichibantai are unconscious on the ground.

"Oh my . . . what's happened here?"

Hanataro turns, ready to confront an enemy, only to come face-to-face with his division's vice-captain. Her brows were furrowed and she looked extremely worried.

"Hanataro, are you alright?"

He nods a 'yes,' and he doesn't know he's crying until his shoulders are shaking and he's bawling like a small child. His knees buckle under him and his scalpel-sized zanpakuto clatters the ground.

Isane comes over, bends down, and hugs him gently, murmuring softly as he sobs his heart out into her shoulder.

Isane puts a comforting hand on the back of his head, and before he knows what's happened, he's out, knocked unconscious by his superior officer.

When he opens his eyes, it's nearly twilight. He's in a warm bed, and he recognizes the familiar sights, smells, and sounds of the Yonbantai General Relief Station.

Two people are sitting next to his bed. He recognizes them as his two best friends in all of the Soul Society: Rin from Juuniibantai and Rikichi from Rokubantai.

Their exclamations of surprise and happiness at his consciousness draw a nurse, who contacts Eighth Seat Ogido, who contacts Iemura, and, eventually, even Unohana-taichou comes by to check on him. It seems that everyone from Fourth Division has been by to see him.

Everyone except Isane.

Later on, when the outside is dark, Unohana has ushered Rikichi and Rin from the room and is telling him the extent of his injuries. A broken nose, arm, and wrist, along with a massive accretion of bruise, scraps, cuts, and other maladies. He's going to be staying in bed for a while.

But Hanataro isn't listening.

Eventually she leaves, but not before easing the pain of some of his wounds and telling him to get some sleep.

Outside, the sky is black. The hospital grows quieter as the staff packs up and heads home. Hanataro is just drifting off to sleep when there's a soft rap on his door and it slides open. Isane steps inside and closes the door silently.

She crosses the room to the bed and gathers reiatsu in the palm of hand, which she then runs carefully over Hanataro's wounds, healing the worst of them. She's just finishing up when Hanataro croaks,

"Fukutaichou?"

Isane starts, jerking away from the bed. She realizes it's just him and that he's awake and approaches the bed again.

"You startled me," she chided lightly.

"Sorry."

There silence as she hold a kidou-filled palm over his wrist. "You took quite a beating today."

"Isn't that what I'm for?" Hanataro asked, little-used sarcasm heavy in his voice. "Everyone's own, personal thing to abuse?"

Isane stops healing him to stare before chuckling. "Oh, Hanataro," she says softly, brushing a few stray strands of hair from his face with a small smile. "No one thinks that."

"They have a funny way of showing it," Hanataro half-mutters, half-whispers.

Isane sighs. "Well, some people do, and some people don't. I don't. Now, I've healed the worst of your wounds, so your body can do the rest of the healing, alright?"

Hanataro nods weakly. "Alright."

Isane turns to leave, but stops just short of the door and doubles back to the bed.

"I forgot to tell you something," she says.

"What?"

She leans down over the bed and whispers,"It's no longer April Fool's Day, so I can say this genuinely." She brushes her lips against his forehead and whispers,

"Happy Birthday, Hanataro."

His eyes widen and she smiles before kissing him again, then slipping from the room.

Hanataro turns over and waits until he can no longer feel her Reiatsu before closing his eyes.

Maybe his birthday isn't so bad after all . . . .

_-Owari_

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**A/N: So, uh, Hanataro, happy REALLY belated birthday? Like, seventeen days of belatedness? Look, I got it out before the taichou's birthday, alright? That's somethin', right? Even though it was written after I'd written the taichou's birthday present and I had been planning this since Christmas and have only just gotten it written last night at something like 1 AM....**

**Much thanks to my beta **Desert(dot)Moon **for betaing this, despite her annoyance at my sudden and many tense changes.... Gomen, Kit-chan! *bows*  
**

**Um . . . yeah. . . so this is REALLY late... and I DEEPLY apologize . . .**

**But anyway, Happy Birthday Hanataro!**

**Unohana's birthday in five days! Yay!**

**Because you love him, please review so Hanataro gets a better belated present then the one I gave him . . . **

**-Love, Toasty**


End file.
